I am no Beer Snob…or am I?
So, the other day I was having a beer with a few mates and was offered a beer…nothing special, just your average Mainstream Lager that any beer consumer would have drunk at some stage in their life. Anyway, I politely declined, preferring to reach into my own coolie bag and pull out a can of craft beer that I had bought with me…then the harassment began…
“Oh, is my non-craft beer is not good enough for you”…“Spose you think you are too cool for this one”…“Oh, no, you couldn’t be seen drinking normal beer, it has to be floral and hoppy”, and in a snobby voice “Ooooh, that beer is beneath my level”
To which I replied…“F##k you, f##k you, get f##ked, and f##k off you idiot”
Obviously, my command of the English language has no equal!
Then, I get…“You’re a beer snob!”. What the hell? I gave them the same reply as before.
But as I sat there sipping on my delicious American Pale Ale, I began to think…am I? So of course, like any hypochondriac looking to find out if they have Ebola virus, I turned to the internet to do some self reflection:
I found many definitions of what a beer snob is, but I kinda liked this one I found on a message board.
“A beer snob is someone who considers themselves to be superior to non-craft and quite a few craft drinkers due to the beers he chooses consume. He or she also loves to flaunt his or her knowledge of the beverage despite evidence otherwise”
I also liked it because it proves my case (well at least to me) that I am not a Beer Snob! But I read on, and on, and on, and compiled a list of character traits that I could refute here in written word and prove that, while I love beer as much as my first born child, I am no Beer snob.
Trait: Only drinks Hop Bombs, High ABV’s, Limited Releases and hard to find beers.
Hell no! I do love a Hop Bomb, but shy away from higher ABV’s as I like to keep it tidy. I will always drink a limited released if it’s around, but relying on hard to find beers in Hobart would leave me a very thirsty individual.
My Verdict: Not a Snob!
Trait: Dissects every beer they drink in minute detail.
Don’t get me wrong, I do like to know “a bit more” about the beer I am drinking, but I won’t let it get in the way of me enjoying a beer. I like to be able to pick out certain flavours and characteristics in a beer, and know how they are made, but am also happy to just enjoy those flavours, without having to get all high and mighty about it.
My Verdict: Sometimes too keen, but not a Snob!
Trait: If there is only mainstream beer on offer, would prefer to drink water.
Don’t be ridiculous, water is for kids! I remember back when I was working for the big brewer and we would go to industry events where our competitor wouldn’t drink anything on offer if it wasn’t theirs…I think that’s stupid, in the same was as choosing water over mainstream beer. Beer is an inclusive and social beast and I don’t like to do anything to exclude myself, or others, from enjoying them together.
My Verdict: Definitely not a snob!
Trait: Judges people for drinking mainstream beer, “entry level” craft beer, or “big craft”
I know some people who won’t touch beer brewed by breweries that aren’t small or independent…not me! I have no issue with that, and wont judge someone who’s version of craft beer is light in flavour, or made by a big brewer, everyone’s craft beer journey has to start somewhere. If someone is drinking mainstream beer, and not on a craft beer journey, that’s okay too…but I will try and enlighten them!
My Verdict: Open minded, not a snob!
Trait: Tries to convert everyone into being a craft beer drinker.
Okay, so I might do this a bit. I don’t do it because I think they need to be enlightened, or because I think they are doing something wrong, I do it because I am very passionate about craft beer and just want to share that passion with people. Remember when you made your girlfriend a mix tape with a double cassette player (millennials, look it up)…was that snobbery? Hell no, that was passion…you were sharing something that you were passionate about…music, with someone you cared enough about to want to share that experience with…your girlfriend. In the same way, I am just trying to share my passion with the people I enjoy being around.
My Verdict: Sharing is caring…not a Snob! I made some great mixtapes for girlfriends, by the way! On a side note, check out my video of the Hobart Beerfest where I attempted to convert my mate Ben.
Trait: Believes that if a brewery has been “bought out”, it no longer produces beer of sufficient quality to pass their lips.
Hell no! I have written about this a few times, the double standards that exist in our industry, and it kind of annoys me when people do this. I could name 10 breweries that are still knocking it out of the park after being purchased by a bigger entity. In Australia, I love that Mountain Goat are still kicking ass, even after being owned by Asahi…many have turned their back, but I am sure they will come back after if the 2017 limited release schedule is half as good as the 2016 one.
In the USA, Dogfish Head is now part owned by an investment group, but I challenge you to find a brewery as consistently cutting edge as they have been for the last 10 years. And at the risk of being shot down in flames, I still love the beers that Golden Road (Ab Inbev) and Ballast Point (Constellation Brands) are releasing. This trait is one of the more annoying ones that I find in beer snobs!
My Verdict: Anti-Snob!
Trait: Will only drink a beer if it I poured into the “Correct” glass
I will drink beer from a bottle, or a can, let alone turn my nose up if it is poured into the “wrong” glass. What I will say however, I much prefer to pour a beer into a glass to get the full craft beer experience. I find that also, once a person experiences the joy of drinking a flavoursome and aromatic beer from a glass, they will do it again and again…its sciency shit, they cant argue with it. Hey, even my son understands it…I laugh every time he pours a Coke or Fanta into a glass and gives me that look, like, “I get you, Dad”.
My Verdict: Half Snob, but for good reason…Science!
So there you go…I am not a Snob! I feel a bit like the Elephant Man, saying that out loud, but it’s true…I am a passionate beer lover, and proud of it.
By the way, I have been cranking out a heap of video content over on my Facebook page of late…if you are interested, head on over.
Cheers to great beers!